On the same day as I was rushed to hospital after suffering a blackout, I received an e-mail from the Scottish Book Trust telling me that 'unfortunately' I had failed in my application for one of their New Writers awards. I wasn't really expecting to be a recipient but still, somewhere in the back of my mind, there lodged a vague hope that I might have an outside chance. So, still feeling very woozy after my hospital sojourn, it only took one reading to reduce me to tears!
Feeling sorry for oneself when faced with rejection letters, however, is not a very constructive response. The next day I had a serious talk to myself and spent some time reading samples of writing from previous winners of these awards. Despite admiring many of the extracts, I'm not sure I learnt an awful lot about what makes a winning entry.
Writing is fraught with the hazards of self-doubt and mood swings: one day you feel proud of your words, the next filled with despair. That's when I try to speak to others in the same position - come out of my solitary eyrie and bounce ideas off someone else. Remind myself of all those famous authors who've faced multiple rejections but finally won through, Ruthless tenacity is the key. That, and a passionate belief that this is what I want to do above everything else -write and keep on writing in the hope that someday I'll produce something of real merit.
Until then, I'll invest in a few more boxes of man-sized tissues and a steel rod for the back!
